A year of goodbyes

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Cub at Yule, still not able to crawl

A little bit over two weeks ago, the twins turned one.

One.

The magical number. The first year. My beautiful two boys are now officially no longer babies and their birthday marks 365 days of being on this earth (not counting those in my womb). Whoa. I still can’t quite believe it. And at the same time I’m so very excited about our next year together which will bring their first words, their first “conscious” yule celebration, probably their first trip to the ocean and so much more.

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Cub looking out.

Looking back, I’m completely stunned how much happened in these short, long twelve months. They learned so much, grew so fast, developed a personality and detect something new every day. It is so beautfiul to witness children growing up, adding to one’s own wonder of life and the world.

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Snuggling with Dante.

And at the same time, there is a part of me that looks back not only with pride and love and joy but with a certain nostalgia. There are also so many things you have to say goodbye to. So many moments that go past without you realizing that was the last time you had it.

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Once one of their greatest joys: playing with the mobile

That last time you nursed them. That last toothless smile. That last time they could sleep together in their bed. That last time they could wear that cute little first bodysuit. That last time they took their first soother. That last time they needed their swaddle sack. The last time they lay under their baby arch. That last time they were content on their baby blanket. That last time they fit onto your arm.

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Baby arch when it was still fun.

Now, being one year old, they started to roll around, then crawl and now they walk, talk – not in words (if you don’t count “da!”) but in sounds and syllables, they wave, clap and laugh, they are their very own, very distinct personalities. They are defiant and sweet, go to sleep on their own and started to actually sleep through the night. They eat everything they can get their hands on, including sand, try to draw and eat alone (very messy business) and really need new shoes because the old ones are too small. They climb everything, from sofas to chairs and tables, they get steps up and down with an admirable confidence and ease. They are amazing. Compared to the small, helpless little beings they were when they were born, one can’t quite believe they are the same persons. So much has happened already.

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Fingers on fingers.

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Baby blanket – already getting too small.

It is amazing how much you witness, experience, say hello and goodbye to. I wouldn’t want to go back – too many wonderful things have been learned and will be learned, both by the twins and us, but looking back, I still get that happy-and-a-little-sad smile, thinking that maybe I didn’t appreciate every moment as much as I could have. And at the same time, I know it’s not true. We lived that last year to its full extend. We lived. We loved. We saw and remembered and looked forward and laughed and enjoyed. We still do. A year of goodbyes and hellos and so much wonder. I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world.

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